All that dancing and laughter—weddings are tons of fun, but being married isn’t always a bit of cake. (Sometimes it’s more just like the frosting chunk that went up to your nose during the smash—good intentions, but the wrong outcome.) There’s actually tons of labor that go into living “happily ever after,” so whether you’ve been married for years or simply tied the knot, we asked the experts what couples can do to possess a cheerful marriage. Follow their helpful tips for a stronger, healthier, and yes…more blissful bond.
First of all, even happy couples argue.
No marriage is happy all of the time. “Like all relationships, there are ups and downs,” says psychologist Erica MacGregor. But once you do fight, happy marriages hear each other’s point of view, recognize when the argument goes off the rails, and make the required repairs, she says.
In fact, Dr. Juliana Morris, a family and couples therapist, says that a number of the happiest couples she has worked with “have weathered adversity .” So if you and your spouse sometimes argue, or are browsing a rough patch, this doesn’t necessarily mean you’re in an unhappy marriage. In fact, it probably means you’re normal.
Focus on each other’s strengths.
It’s not always easy to ascertain past minor annoyances, and sometimes you’ll even hate your partner. But to possess a cheerful marriage you’ve got to simply accept your partner’s strengths and weaknesses and be ready to set realistic expectations, says Ellen Chute, LMSW. for instance, if you’re better with numbers, don’t get angry once they misbalance the checkbook. Instead, make it your job to line the budget. If their strength is cooking, they will manage meal planning instead.